Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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