I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
