i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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