i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
