Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nutella sex= disaster
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
