I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me i tasted like america
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize