i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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