Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
