VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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