Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
