Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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