She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
