found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
