Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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