I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
