Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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