i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
