I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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