Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
