My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
only you would photoshop your dick
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
