she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
