He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
