So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
