I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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