We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
