I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
