I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
