Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize