I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
