Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
