they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
