I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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