SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
