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"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
