My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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