So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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