if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no you cant smoke seaweed
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's like heaven, but drunker
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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