I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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