Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
