We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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