Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
id be glad to
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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