How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
