I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Small penises have feelings too.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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