BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
