Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
