I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
