I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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