I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Randomize
