I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
