I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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