I hate your face
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
