I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
