She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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