it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
