No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
MIDGETS
????
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
