I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
